Towards the Cliché
by Illution
Summary: Humor towards clichés. Naruto will gain may powers and companions.
1. Chapter TooHard

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize.

Chapter SomeTwo: training for something.

"First thing we do kit, is getting you 400 pounds of weight." The Kyuubi spoke in a calm smooth tone.

"What? I'm only six years old, wont the stop my bone growth and no way I can carry all that weight without starting slow." Naruto protested.

"Don't worry I know what I'm doing, demon foxes knows human anatomy best." The statement did not calm the young blond.

"Are you sure there isn't any other way?" Naruto asked weakly, hoping to change the foxes mind.

"Well, shinobi's logically could just always boost their strength and speed by chakra. Weights make you bulky and slow you down. Not to mention sudden release of weights needs time for the ninja to adjust and could cost his life. Yes weight is the logical way to go." Kyuubi nods again sagely.

"I see weights are better" Naruto can't argue with the facts and logic. So he puts on the weights and got used to it in no time.

After a few weeks of weight training Naruto finally grew out of patience.

"Ne, Kyuubi when can you teach me cool Jutsus?" Naruto said while boning around and punching the air in his mindscape.

"Yes I believe you are ready Naruto. I'm a fox with no hands but I know many weak ass human Jutsus for some reason. I also know Taijutsu styles such as tail-swinging style and people-biting style. But to teach you I should change in to a human form.

As kyuubi voice its words it slowly shrink down till a bright light emitted that had Naruto covered his eyes. When the light dimed, Naruto opened his eyes and saw a beautiful girl same age as him standing on the other side of the cage.

She had short fiery red hair and blood right eye. She stood in an elegant red yukata.

Naruto jaw dropped. He hasn't seen a girl this cute before ever. Not even Sakura is as cute as her.

"Don't be surprised Naruto. Now let's train you in those low ranked Jutsu that I have no reason knowing."

So, the years grew by as the Kyuubi trained Naruto in the art of shinobi. Naruto grew colder for some reason; perhaps it's cooler to have a colder character or a time skip makes it easier. He changed to a bunch of black clothing because that's cool too. Maybe he even got a cape, but that's just silly.

Somehow he never interacted with his classmates. He kept his score average to not draw attention to himself as a rule of shinobi. Until the day when he gets his test, the day after the time skip ends.


	2. Chapter Trii: Genin

Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.

Chapter Srii: Genin Time

Iruka stood in front of another year of future warriors of the village. Today is the day for these young minds to rise above the ranks in their ninja career. He felt a little sad on knowing the facts that more than half of this class will be back at the academy in a few weeks. It is for their best. Even being a genin can be dangerous. Collecting cats, cleaning out houses, and pulling out weeds can be very hazardous.

The scar-faced chunnin looked at the class. Quite a few characters from prominent clans of Konoha stood out. And of course there is a kyuubi container. He held unjust hate for the boy at first. Later on, the boy warmed up to him, even though the boy was cold and uncaring and had nothing in common with his younger self. But Iruka is destined to be the first to acknowledge the boy.

So the test begin as each student were called to the next room, where the instructors where to test on their basic ninja skills. Each of the students performed the bunshin technique earning their Konoha head bands. When it came to Naruto's turn, he created over 25 clones to fill in the small crammed room; even though he was a calm skilled ninja who knew to not show his true strength and had always performs the minimum requirement in class.

The numbered of clones shocked the instructors. They quickly gathered themselves and passed Naruto. Iruka was happy for the demon container who he used to hate and had nothing in common with.

Mizuki however put on a forced face smile while inwardly he was fuming for he lost the chance to use the boy who wasn't dead last who he shouldn't be targeting for his plan in the first place.

In the end Mizuki somehow tricked Naruto in stealing the scroll of sealing from the most secured building in the village. However things won't go as the traitor planned. Both the container and the demon within already knew of Mizuki's trickery, but stole the scroll anyways for personal gains.

Naruto copied down the scrolls information for himself and learned the Kage Bunshin technique before Iruka showed up.

Naruto learned that day that Iruka truly cared for him. Naruto gained precious person not to mention a very useful scroll so everyone was happy, except for Mizuki who was arrested.

The next day Naruto walked in to the class room. He saw children chattering about random things. Suddenly he felt a familiar pair of eyes on him. Hinata's eye darted to her feet as she noticed her crush looking back at her. Even though Naruto wasn't a cheerful prankster the timid Hyuuga started to admire the dark quite boy as the other fan girls flawed upon the last Uchiha.

The pale girl gathered up her courage and walked up to Naruto and spook to him.



"A-a-ano... ano... N-n-n-n-n-n-na-ru-ruto k-k-k-kun..." She then blushed like a tomato and fainted.

Naruto felt a bit sorry for his stalker. Yes, he knows of her following him often but he didn't really care.

He sat down in an empty seat which just so happened to be next Uchiha Sasuke. The seat was surprisingly empty seeing that there are so many fan girls who'd want to sit next to their crush at any given chance. It's truly a strange phenomenon indeed.

A loud crash can be heard at the entrance as two banshees stormed into the room and then had the nerves to demand Naruto to move. This just won't do. Naruto out right refused the two girls. They were quite nice looking girls, he had to admit, but their screech is more than anyone can stand. Why would any girl think their screaming would get a boy's attention?

In the end Naruto ended up kissing Sasuke and sorted to his team with Sakura. Naruto thought it was strange that the dead last was supposed to be with the top girl and boy. That should have been Shikamaru teamed up with emo boy and his self proclaimed number one fan girl. But that's just the way things are.

Several hours latter their jounin sensei finally showed, and up right told the group he hated them even though he wasn't pranked. They met on the roof top for introduction.

So after the self introductions we have already read a million times, Kakashi informed the team of their bell test tomorrow. So begins the adventures of cold dark Naruto and team seven.


End file.
